July 5, 2017

Life, Liberty and The Pursuit of Happiness

The Chaps contribution to this years July 4th Thinking

This Chap Was Delighted …

.. to have an email pop across the transom this morning. Much like the other chap, he’s not known for his ability to slip on the sneakers in the morning for that 10-mile run, or ‘drop and give anyone ’5’ ’ at a moments notice … no - we are fervently of the opinion that exercising the mind is our priority. Turns out we are right … just some of the ‘Q and As’ that we became aware of today.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can’t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain - Good.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop.

And who knew that language can affect your health

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The French eat a lot of fat and also have fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It is speaking English that will kill you.

This chap is off to learn another language

Well before you do that - there is just one more thing. The email featured a quote that this chap quite liked.

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO-HOO, what a ride!!”

.. and it rang a bell - looks like it is a twist on a Bill McKenna quote.

By the way - like all good emails that circulate the interwebs, this one also probably started back in the days when we all had a fax machine [bare with us kiddies - you don’t need to learn about them - just like you really can forget that modem noise (daddy - what’s a modem)] … Anyway - if you want one of the many web references for the email … there you go … (they aren’t all the same). This one - and then this one


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