May 7, 2017

Whitehouse Listed On AirBNB

McSweeney’s - and This Chap - notes that …

… the residence is rarely occupied, so why not?

Indeed. Afterall, it would be one of the less egregious things he’s done

From the estimable McSweeney’s Internet Tendency.

 

Description

Beautiful colonial home on the Potomac in VERY popular shopping/tourist/rallying district. HUGE yard designed by the late Irish-born architect James Hoban in the early 1790s — GORGEOUSLY remodeled by AMERICAN-born chief strategist Steve Bannon in the early hours of the morning.

Prices
  • Per Night – $345 – Very fair very competitive
  • Cleaning Fee – $1900 – Not refundable/negotiable
  • Weekly discount – None. Not budging.
  • Monthly Discount – These people need to pay us what they owe us. China is BEATING US. They are RAPING US UP ANDDOWN — I’LL SEE YOU IN COURT.
Getting Around

Washington has a LOVELY, CRUMBLING metro system. These people are killing each other in the streets of Chicago and all over too and Washington is like that. I’ve seen it. It is like that. I can RECOMMEND using a SECRETSERVICE motorcade to AVOID these people BURNING pinatas made in your GORGEOUS likeness.

House Rules

These guys they tell me y’know: “Don’t break things.” these guys say “This stuff’s important. Don’t AirBNB. You just killed 30 people in Yemen. Pay attention. Stop writing this listing.” They don’t know. They don’t know. I know. I know. No rules.

And that’s just the start …


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