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Taxi Chronicles - Travis | JPhilpin
Another story I wrote based on news I read at the end of 2014. The story is meant to be in the ‘voice’ of a London Black Cab Driver.
Morning Guvnor - where too then ?
’Eathrow it is then. Terminal 5. That’s BA then. And where in this glorious world are you ’eading to ?
Sydney ! Blimey guv - you know what’s going on down there don’t you ?
Oh right - they’ve called you in. Of COURSE they ’ave.
Counter Terrorism is it ?
No Guv - you don’t need to kill me if you tell me - I get the drift.
Anyway - I can tell you don’t want to talk - but ’ere’s the thing - just call up Travis Kalanick. He’s in control.
Travis ? CEO of Uber guv.
Well - it’s obvious innit.
Uber have had a bit of a hard time down under - know what I mean … but wallop - one Terrroist in a chocolate cafe - and bobs your uncle. First they charge 4 times the usual for all their rides - absolutely coining it - and then - just as the complaints roll in - suddenly free rides … Uber the hero … cos nobody remembers - do they gov.
Here’s what I would do - check out Travis - bet you’ll find that the Terrorist is an Uber driver. I mean when you add up the rapes, attacks and killings across the world attributed to Uber drivers …. well Terrorism is a slam dunk. Know what I mean.