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Comments On The American Perspective
I saw the black writing coming through a feed recently …. and in a quiet moment - decided to comment back as an English person who has spent more than half of his life outside of the UK - and most of that in the United States …..
In the UK (as an American has written) … and I respond
- Almost everyone is very polite … ‘almost’
- The food is generally outstanding … ‘generally’ - and it does depend where
- There are no guns … there are some
- There are too many narrow stairs … #truthy
- Everything is just a little bit different … only to Yanks
- The pubs close too early … not any more - but you need to know where to go
- Pubs are not bars, they are community living rooms … #nice
- You’d better like peas, potatoes and sausage … who doesn’t ?
- Refrigerators and washing machines are very small … smaller than the US ones for sure
- Everything is generally older, smaller and shorter … ‘generally’
- There are very well behaved dogs everywhere … and badly behaved ones aswell
- People don’t seem to be afraid of their neighbors or the government … was this written before Bliar ruined the country ?
- Their paper money makes sense, the coins don’t … HA!
- Everyone has a washing machine but driers are rare … but we do have wind
- The reason they drive on the left is because all their cars are built backwards … I will link to a separate post here later
- Hot and cold water faucets. Remember them? … yup
- Pants are called “trousers”, underwear are “pants” and sweaters are “jumpers” … well we’re English … so I think we know how to speak it !
- The bathroom light is a string hanging from the ceiling … no - that is the SWITCH for the bathroom light
- “Fanny” is a naughty word, as is “shag” … not truly naughty tho - just a little
- All the signs are well designed with beautiful typography and written in full sentences with proper grammar … ahem - I think I need to link to my visual collection of stupid english signs
- There’s no dress code … really ? have you BEEN to England ?
- Doors close by themselves, but they don’t always open … all done with ghosts
- They eat with their forks upside down … no we don’t - they are forks - not spoons
- English are as crazy about their gardens as Americans are about cars … nobody is THAT crazy
- They don’t use facecloths or napkins … oh for heavens sake - really … where were you staying ?
- The wall outlets all have switches, some don’t do anything … just like America
- There are hardly any cops or police cars … oh you must be a criminal - if you are innocent - trust me - they are there !
- There are 5,000 year old rocks still standing around. No one is sure why … maybe not in America - but we English do understand the ‘long game’
- When you do see police they seem to be in male & female pairs and often smiling … #truthy
- Black people are just people: they didn’t quite do slavery here … umm - we did, but abandoned it before America was invented
- Everything comes with chips, which are French fries. You put vinegar on them … #crap
- Cookies are “biscuits” and potato chips are “crisps” … again - we are English .. and that is the language we speak
- HP sauce is better then catsup … #naturally - most things are
- Obama is considered a hero, Bush is considered an idiot … I thought we were agreed in America on that aswell ? #bubble?
- After fish and chips, curry is the most popular food … ummm no, other way round … link to come
- The water controls in showers need detailed instructions … just like in America
- Folks don’t always lock their bikes … ditto
- It’s completely normal to see people dressing different and speaking different languages … on the dressing front - have you been to Mardi Gras ? Languages Yup - but if a different language is being spoken - it probably isn’t a Brit doing it!
- Electronic devices work fine with just a plug adapter … que ?
- Nearly everyone is better educated then we are … now how hard is that ? Really ?
- If someone buys you a drink you must do the same … no ‘must’ … it’s called ‘manners’
- There are no guns … but there are a lot of knives - and ‘no’ is an exaggeration
- Look right, walk left … its about being ‘aware’
- It’s not that hard to eat with the fork in your left hand with a little practice #truthy
- If you don’t, everyone knows you’re an American … see all above - and below
- Many of the roads are the size of our sidewalks … and many of your sidewalks just don’t exist
- There’s no AC … oh - you mean Air Conditioning … thought you meant electricity for a minute there
- Instead of turning the heat up, you put on a jumper … have you heard of global warming … oh wait - consider the audience
- Gas is “petrol”, it costs about $7 a gallon and is sold by the liter … gas is gas - petrol is liquid - we have taxes - that people pay - and we went metric … in some parts
- If you speed on a motorway, you get a ticket. Always … not true
- You don’t have to tip, really! … you don’t HAVE to in America - its just that we pay something approximating to living wages in the UK
- Scotland, Wales, Ireland and Cornwall really are different countries … country / county … really … there is no difference !!!
- Everyone here has a passport, only 14% of Americans do … #truthy
- You pay the price marked on products because the taxes (VAT) are built in … I know - but BOY that tax is HIGH compared to the US Sales Tax
- Walking is the national pastime … and in america it is driving … you do the math
- Their TV looks and sounds much better then ours … whose wouldn’t ?
- They took the street signs down during WWII but haven’t put them all back up yet … umm, depends
- Everyone enjoys a good joke … no we don’t … sorry - is this the 30 minute, or the full hour ?
- There are no guns … see above re knives
- Dogs are very well behaved and welcome everywhere … no they are not
- There are no window screens … we don’t need them - we don’t open the windows - it is too cold / hot
- You can get on a bus and end up in Paris … same is true in Texas
- Everyone knows more about our history then we do … again - how hard is that … really ?
- Radio is still a big deal. The BBC is quite good … the BBC is VERY good - and our radio is so good that when Apple launched their global radio station they took a DJ from Radio 1 to launch it
- The newspapers can be awful … but we do have a lot of them - so there is choice and they aren’t all owned by the same people - and we have more serious news papers in the UK than in ALL of the USA - with a population less than 1/4
- Everything costs the same but our money is worth less so you have to add 50% to the price to figure what you’re paying - it’s called traveling in a FOREIGN country
- Beer comes in large, completely filled, actual pint glasses and the closer the brewery the better the beer - ale actually - and strictly speaking only completely filled if it is a pint glass - we also have ‘larger than pint’ glasses - with a mark where the pint gets filled to
- Butter and eggs aren’t refrigerated … it’s cold enough
- The beer isn’t warm, each style is served at the proper temperature … at last - someone gets it
- Cider (alcoholic) is quite good … no it isn’t
- Excess cider consumption can be very painful … yes it can be, which explains my comment above
- The universal greeting is “Cheers” (pronounced “cheeahz” unless you are from Cornwall, then it’s “chairz”) … I think if you said ‘cheers’ to someone from Yorkshire, you wouldn’t have been left in a position capable of writing this to begin with
- The money is easy to understand: 1-2-5-10-20-50 pence, then-£1-£2-£5-£10, etc bills. There are no quarters … why is this easy ?
- Their cash makes ours look like Monopoly money … Botswansa’s cash make US case look like monopoly money
- Cars don’t have bumper stickers … sorry - they do - but not as many as in the US - I’ll give you that
- Most doorknobs, buildings and tools are older than America … stating the bleeding obvious
- By law, there are no crappy, old cars … there are, and they should;t be on the road - but they are
- When the sign says something was built in 456, they didn’t lose the “1” … #truthy
- BBC 4 is NPR … no it isn’t - it is BBC4 … actually I think you mean Radio 4
- Everything closes at 1700 (5pm) … no it doesn’t - for example - see above re Pubs
- Very few people smoke … and ?
- You’re defined by your accent … not ‘defined’ … ‘thought’ to be ‘understood’ - with knowledge of where you hail from
- No one in Cornwall knows what a Cornish Game Hen is … do you ?
- Soccer is a religion, religion is a sport … as opposed to the US were SPORT is a religion and religion is politics
- Europeans dress better then the British, we dress worse … no doubt I would put the US GENERALLY at the bottom of the heap - but really - have you seen some of the European outfits ?
- The trains work: a three minute delay is regrettable … must have been an off day !
- Drinks don’t come with ice … see above re temperature in the UK
- There are far fewer fat English people - our population is smaller - but i know what you mean
- There are a lot of healthy old folks wandering around participating in life instead of hiding at home watching tv … now we are talking
- If you’re over 60 and English, you get free bus, rail travel and tv … Don’t you mean ‘British’ - they are different you know
- Displaying your political or religious affiliation is considered very bad taste - a lesson to be learned there
- Every pub has a pet drunk - and every drunk has a pet pub
- Their healthcare works, but they still bitch about it … because it could be better
- Cake is one of the major food groups … unlike chips, burgers, hot dogs, ice cream …
- Their coffee is mediocre but their tea is wonderful … true - and the coffee hasn’t improved that much even tho Starbucks has arrived
- There are still no guns - there are - but LOADS MORE knives
- Towel warmers … now THAT - tight there … THAT … THATS what is missing in the USA